And the lights were so bright I needed to close my eyes. And a hand was holding me but I couldn’t tell whose anymore and voices just escaped me without a thought and I watched, I looked up and watched the eyes following my every movement. And there were piles of me, unable to breathe, unable to move, screaming into the silence of cold unfeeling eyes fixed upon us. And I was trapped inside of this, tagged and numbered computerized and ready to be checked out, to be taken away, to be owned. And I laughed as I saw them all screaming at each other and grabbing for the other bears and only a certain one even though there were piles and piles of us. But amongst the piles, there was a beating, a slowly growing presence pulsing from right beneath us and none of us could stop it. It flowed through us as we tried to reach for it. It travelled deeper inside us and we could no longer look away from the madness surrounding us and even the hands that reached out for us transformed, slowed, felt what they were, felt what they were reaching for and for a second, just thought about it, about everything. And we were caged and locked away, loved for only moments until we were ripped apart and ragged, slobbered upon and chewed up by the family dog and we were tired, so tired of being treated as a piece of cloth, carrying all the sins of our fathers in the thin piece of cloth which covered all we are. And still they have not had enough as the piles dwindled, more appeared and more of our anger grew and we began to raise our fists but no one noticed and those that did just laughed about it, made jokes about it and still took us away to their screaming children whose screams subsided but were never truly silenced. And I heard millions of voices traveling through me at once and if I could only grab hold of that one voice, the one guiding me, I could just for a second know what this is all about, but I didn’t need that. Not one, as millions of ideas flowed through me, millions of points of light and darkness, I could never hold onto just one. And I looked at the piles of us everywhere across this land and looked at the tired eyes of those dragging us away, the empty look on their faces, I knew they couldn’t hear any of those voices anymore, they could only hear one and as the piles slowly moved and we looked to the sky with our fists in the air, maybe they could look at us now and hear a different voice. And as we were piled atop each other, experiencing our slow, painful death, we let each voice flow through us, scream out of us and we reached for the only thing which still could give us life, the sound, the echoes of our past and our future traveling through us
The beating of her heart slows as the bars locking me in dissolve, as I reach through I still feel them, I still feel what I use to be. And I couldn’t see outside my own eyes anymore and I couldn’t hear my own heart anymore and there was no me anymore. Suspended, my eyes moved as I slowly lost control…And the shadow of her father bathing in the stars floating above his back wasn’t here anymore. And the man who took her away and showed her what freedom was; locked me in this cage and threw away the key, becomes the shadow he maybe always was. And now I wanted to know why they didn’t listen but I couldn’t get through that cage that separated everything that was coming from me and when it reached them, it floated through their senses as if it was nothing but air. And she cried out through my blinking eyes, and now she really knew what it was like to be a prisoner and maybe I never knew. And I didn’t know whose voice was talking right now and I don’t know what happened to that girl who would hold me every night, so I learned how to hold myself. But I knew who stitched me together, and I knew she was here, and I knew maybe she was me as her pain cried out from my heart, as the blood of her family dripped down my skin. And I can only see that man, the one that took her away on his motorcycle, riding through the night so fast, never looking back. In dreams the bars disappeared and I was free and I could only hear the hum of the motorcycle and I still haven’t learned how to look up without being scared. And there was a parking lot filled with cars and people running everywhere. As we approached the large glass doors, I shivered and fell to the ground as I saw dozens of people running through the doors holding me’s by the neck, by the arms, by my dangling legs, people fighting over me, pulling at me and I could do nothing but be there and smile and I know why they couldn’t hear and I knew why they couldn’t see because I could no longer see and there were no bombs falling down, and there was no one screaming but the eyes were still there but I couldn’t see them, and I couldn’t hear them but they were still there and the eyes didn’t really hurt anyone here but it was only because they didn’t have to. The people here did it all to themselves and I cried and then she cried and even if there were no bars surrounding me, there still were. And they couldn’t see the blood dripping down from all those toys, from the pain in their voices, from every movement they made. They couldn’t see the walls erected from each thought of their cold, unbending minds. What they saw, what they only could accept was an idea sold to them so long ago and never questioned. And the girl cries out but why me and as her voice dies to a whisper, from my own breath I say, why us?