Eyes of the Devil 2

They would look at me weird because I think they knew I knew something.  But really, I didn’t know nothing.  And we stood in line and the machine looked angry and mommy looked up at it and I knew she was scared, she was always scared in airports just like me.  Anytime we were in an airport I couldn’t breathe, the air was like thick, it was like it wasn’t real.  And everyone was moving but no one was looking or smiling and it was all so serious and there were scary men with guns and always someone or a lot of someone’s watching you always.  And mommy says, It’s okay if I’m pregnant?  And the man says yeah it’s okay mam you have a choice.  So it’s okay, yeah I think so, but you don’t have to you can ge patted, it’s your choice.  But there is no choice, everyone looking down at their feet knew that.  And they took her aside and they photographed our eyes and took our fingerprints and said see it’s so much faster, now you get to go to the front of the line, but to get to the front of the line they took something from us, and I felt it, pounding in my head, it would never be the same again.  And it was only because mommy didn’t like to wait.  And that’s why we were running because mommy didn’t want to wait and watch daddy die, but I remember when he reached out for me as we left and he still couldn’t open his eyes, they were drowning in tears. He didn’t want us to leave him alone, but we felt it starting to go into us and it started grabbing us and sometimes at night it would start choking me and Tammy would fight it off but she was only so strong and she told me to run, but to be careful because maybe I’ll never stop running once I start.  But some of the rainbows from daddy’s hands never really left me and sometimes when I would close my eyes they would still be there, so maybe sometimes he was still there too.  He stopped crying before we left and he started mumbling but I could never understand any of it, but there were no more screams, only the memories and the booboos, and his eyes would go up looking into his brains and he stopped being able to reach me because he shook so much he couldn’t really get up off the floor.  And now at night, sometimes when the moon was full and I remembered the nights when he came to say hello to me in my sleep, I could do nothing but cry, screaming his screams, crying his cries and I never ran out of tears.  And there was something in my head now that would never come out no matter how hard I shook it was always taking something from me.  And we never said no and this is our lives and not one of us never said no.  But daddy did and he couldn’t walk anymore, or talk anymore, just endless chatter that no one listened to and the rainbows that came from his hands that now guided me but never told me where I was going, but Tammy said just listen, just listen and maybe you’ll know, but I didn’t want to know anything if I had to be like Daddy.  But as I bathed in the light of the full moon tonight I felt daddy calling me and for once I understood his words and I knew I had to go back.  I couldn’t even remember how long it’s been but I knew I had to go back and Tammy said I had to go back because I was learning how to listen and I couldn’t close my ears no more.  And I closed mommy’s door and I wished her good night and I started out on the road and I held the rainbows close to my heart and I listened as a little girl so far away screamed and a droning hum above her was chasing her and I screamed for her and I reached out for her and she smiled and I said I promise, I won’t stop listening and she cried for help and all I could do was listen as part of my body was bombed from overhead


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s