Eyes of the Devil 1

Sometimes Daddy would be crying in the corner of the kitchen, on the floor grabbing his knees.  He cried like me, with boogers falling out of his nose and hoping no one saw him.  He didn’t know I stood there, holding Tammy really tight and I wanted to cry but I didnt know how when I just wanted to.  He never opened his eyes.  Sometimes he looked to the ceiling and reached out his arms.  I got scared because I thought maybe he would die soon. And it took a long time.  I remember I couldn’t even get near him when he was like that.  He would be there in the corner and I could hear the coughing and the crying but sometimes I couldn’t even see him.  And sometimes he would look at me and his eyes were red but if I looked at him, he would quickly look away and I would run and Tammy would hold me and cry with me because we didn’t know what else to do.  He heard bombs crashing, sand getting kicked up into the air, giant green steel monsters, ducking, hiding behind the table, but it always caught up to him, no matter how good he hid.  Rainbows shooting, sometimes straight from his hands.  But still he ran, covering his ears as he cried out all of the pain that never seemed to go away.  Sometimes Tammy just wouldn’t let go of me, she seemed to be way more scared of him than I was.  I couldn’t cry more though, I was all out of tears.  And I learned to hide.  I hid from mommy’s screams and the rainbows that would go through her but I closed my eyes anytime they came near me.  And sometimes Tammy would grab me and she would whisper it’s okay, no one will hurt you.  You don’t hear the buzz in the sky and the eyes always staring at you.  You are lucky you’re not me, just remember you are lucky but you still have to fight for your peace.  Sometimes I stopped hearing Tammy though and I can only hear the screams coming from my stomach and I forgot to listen to any of them and I closed my eyes and everything was dark, but the rainbows would keep chasing me.  I asked Tammy why my father had to be like that.  For days it seemed he would never leave the corner, his arms wrapped around his knees, tears and sweat always falling from his face.  But what was louder was the roar rumbling beneath my feet, pounding through my body, there was no escape from it if you felt it, if you listened to it and the screams and all of the blood, bubbling up from the ground no matter how strongly we closed our eyes it still covered them and I couldn’t look passed it and Tammy said I’m sorry I need to speak with you, it’s because no one else listens, I’m sorry, so sorry and the rainbows come from her eyes now and they cover me and I can’t run because now I see the eyes and they are everywhere, always silently watching and sometimes I can hear the buzzing and I can never get the screams out of my body, and I can never forget the pain and the blood and as my father cries and my mother runs I hold onto Tammy and I ask to leave but there is nowhere else to go so I have to stop running and watch the rainbows and look at the eyes as my tears dry up and I tell Tammy I promise it will be okay because all they do is watch, and all I can do is see what lies behind their eyes

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