In search of tyranny

“People always tell me with absolute certainty that they don’t trust themselves”

Richard Bandler

The control lies within your hands. – I can’t control anything, not even my thoughts.  But somehow I felt in control of her, yet her thoughts, pulses within me, guiding me, the sculpture of lies I construct, the beat of those searching…I’ve written galaxies of lies staring into your eyes behind a screen of protection.  Daniel places the spider on the table and turns the screen on in front of him and clutches a joystick.  Flying above the earth, the people below are no bigger than ants.  He pushes a button, an explosion occurs and the ants disappear in the blast.  In a puff of smoke, materialized into vapor.  He pushes another button and we can hear the screams and in a zoom, the cries of their faces, their blood, their arms detached I can’t turn away from the satisfied smile on his face. – Pacification, a dirty job I must say – Maybe the power forwards your acceptance of this.  They lie dying choking on their own blood and the only reaction, a crooked, creepy smile and an acceptance of superiority.  No connection to the life existing only seconds before, no understanding of the struggle for the existence of what lie before and what of the deafness to the screams, the screams haunting me throughout my life…he places the spider inside my ear as I feel a pinch.  And through a tunnel of darkness the screen moves, silent a quiet beating, a slow force of wind blows through my hair, settling in the corner of the room, becoming a solid presence.  The love of her words still flows through my thoughts as the spider continues the journey to my brain.  The footsteps, overcoming her words, every facet I can possibly remember of what she appears to me…a web covers everything within my sight.  The spider approaches hesitantly, Daniel pushes the stick towards the web, yet the spider resists.  In the corner of the room, the solid festering shadow attempts communication which bounces right off the web and seems to enter the spider.  The shadow shivers, one more painful death it must overcome, Daniel seems unmoved – Do you perceive a presence here? – Huh? – Over in the corner – Oh, don’t worry about that, he never disappears from my side, divided from me long ago, I don’t know how to get rid of it.  The spider crawls up the web as the shadow in the corner clutches onto his head and looks down to the ground.  I travel through centuries and cannot hold onto a damn thing.  My ideas speed up and reverse throughout infinity.  As I become torn in an infinite amount of directions, I can only hear her voice, her eyes, those eyes I’ve travelled infinite realms to  look through.  The spider enters the center of the web, the shadow bursts into millions of pieces that seem to float up to the ceiling, suspended in the air in front of us, reflections of us, shining from the shards, reminding us of our limitations.  The web beats to the sound of my heart, my heart beats to the sound of her, her voice, her words, the masterpieces I created from her pain and the thought that maybe she always knew I was right there, everywhere before her, watching, becoming all she ever was, creating lies from the only truth she ever knew.  The lies that chain me to the tyranny of my mind, the tyranny of I

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s