Because nothing escapes from a blackhole…

which is why the walls are sliding closer and closer.  I hear a beep.  In a shiver of the shoulders I see all I am for one brief second.  I am trapped inside this darkness, vacuum of all feeling, controller of all thoughts, ruler of all action, I enter the heart of it but can hear no… beat.  Beep, what I once was is forgotten, yet it still clings to something deep inside…  one layer of it fades away into…space.  I am surrounded by four walls.  I can barely adjust myself to a comfortable position.  I feel and hear every breath.  I see nothing but blackness, it’s dark, oh so dark.  The only light I can see is reflected off the chalk line drawn below me, dividing me in half.  This square gradually is collapsing on itself, or I am growing.  Only the line becomes clearer, all else is a blur…all else, is a blur.  She is here somewhere, I feel her, flowing with the wind.  I cannot fight the feeling of wanting to destroy her.  I shake the violent images from my mind but they don’t leave.  She is the only reason I continue on…I still wish her painful death.  The line grows brighter, thicker, I still cannot see the split…at the heart of whatever this is I have a message…as soon as it’s remembered, it’s forgotten.  All I can do is reach for her.  I spit on her, but she has learned to spit fire and I have learned how to fear.  Even in the dark fear has no form, nor do I.  And still that fucking line right down the center, I can no longer move away from it.  Although divided, it still gives me a seat of judgment, a house divided can one day come together.  Fear brews within the pit of the stomach which is now my home.  Trapped inside here, is at times the same as being trapped within my mind.  I blow the walls further away I expand and dream of opening my arms to all that lay before me.  I am here to plant something yet I’m not sure I have a conceivable form.  The line is the only form with a continuous…idea, I fight the line, I fight what I think I am and I fight what I think I am in, with the same thoughts which created it.  There is no end to this goddamn circle.  I thought I could write myself out of this, I thought I can write myself out of anything.  Only now does it seem that I am eternally stuck.  Oh fuck, why can’t I just leave anymore?  The walls grow closer, a beep in the distance, an existence began with an explosion disappears with a whimper and I am caught between a line which grows more solid at every beep and her, floating above, barely perceivable as I reach for her only because I want to destroy the idea  invading my thoughts…but she is all I have, I reach for her, reach for the star, the line disappears, there is no wall, but there is a new idea, an untouchable idea as I remain squarely perplexed


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