Down with shadowgrey 2

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“If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
WAS MUSIC” Kurt Vonnegut

I stood atop the mountain way past midnight.  Rain was clouding my sight and the lightning flashes from time to time, the only light I could see.  This was where it stopped.  Haunting my dreams and my waking hours for as long as I could comprehend.  My tortuous restless sleep following in a trail with my fragmented thoughts.  The veil that I had previously pierced, the veil that only disappeared into myself where it was not hiding but growing and feeding as I became less and less of what I thought I was.  It has taken my body from me.  It’s monotonous late night ramblings, it’s repeating hum that would become my thoughts anytime I closed my eyes.  The screen that it hid from my sights, the reality outside that it would not allow me to see.  I fall to the ground in utter hopelessness because I really know, it is me that created all of this.  I look to the mirrors that are now my hands, the mirrors that are here to fight Shadowgrey.  The mirrors tell me something different…something I’ve known for longer than I care to admit, it is time now for me to battle myself.  I hold both mirrors up to the sky in a cascade of living sound.  Lightning crashes into one mirror and bounces off to the other, the electrical pulses force my feet off the ground to where I’m floating and the veil of Shadowgrey unfolds before me.  Floating next to me, yet it could barely focus on what I was.  It is now a veil of anger and hatred but for the first time I am seeing it change before me, it seems almost confused as it begins to process what I am.  It begins to feel that there is not much distance between us.  As I hold my mirrors up to its consciousness, its first reaction is to look away but when it feels it isn’t quite as bad as it thought, it gets lost inside me, or at least the picture I am holding of myself.  The thunder is crashing and the rain is falling to the most beautiful beat I have ever felt throughout my soul and the shadowgrey reaches out for me and isn’t afraid to hold me and to feel me, my heart beating along with it.  Somewhere not far away, in that moon hiding behind the clouds and the lightning crashes, inside that girl’s mind, she never stops the wheel from turning.  Her words stream down in a beam of beautiful perfect harmonics swaying every part of me, as I, shadowgrey fall to the ground, raindrops dancing along my face, lightning still moving through as I know now I am not alone and never can be because I know I can touch everything, anytime.  As the rain subsides and the clouds dissipate, the sun begins to rise above the horizon and as I reach to touch it, I only feel a mirror, stuck to this mountain top, I am trapped here.  This peace and harmony trapped here forever.  The sound of the music of the universe fades away and there is only my pounding on the mirror left.  As the moon fades with the sun, Cherry continues writing up there and I can’t imagine where I’ll be next, but I have experienced life and this is something that not even someone who possibly created me, can take away.  But you up there, you know experiencing this seperate from me is impossible.  You seem to always be above me, but that doesn’t work here anymore.  As my words exit my mouth I watch them burn into dust, but no, no that doesn’t work either anymore I know she hears me and in a wink the moon fades as the sun rises, forming a bright new day

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