rev o lu tion
orbital motion about a point, especially as distinguished from axial rotation: the planetary revolution about the sun
A turning or rotational motion about an axis
A single complete cycle of such orbital or axial motion
Help! There are zombies amongst us
I couldn’t sleep thinking about spending eight hours behind a desk the next day. I could only move my feet so much. My arms so much. I wasn’t allowed to speak or laugh or be. Caged, unable to move, developing, growing, all according to plan. A most important time for growth as my mouth was wired shut but the air still screamed from me, entering nowhere. As I lie in my bed at night a screen of grayish white would appear before me. Maybe coming from that small box. I silenced that box but sometimes it would come on. Angry at me for ignoring it. It did know that I could never entirely ignore it. I still punched it and threw darts of hatred its way, but maybe they were directed at the wrong screen. The grayish white sheet vibrated messages that I could fully understand but didn’t quite believe. You need to stop feeling and hurting it told me. There is no reason for all of this worry it told me. Everything is going to be just fine it told me.
That’s when I knew it was lying. I stopped sleeping because I didn’t want to hear that voice anymore. I knew it was a veil but it still seemed much too real. At times it covered my eyes and I had nowhere else to turn. I stopped sleeping at all. It was the only way I could pierce that veil. My long walks in the middle of the night began to open my eyes to the world that was hidden from my sight. I would walk up the hill behind my house where it felt like I could touch the moon. I would run along with my arms in the air as the shooting stars were falling all around me. And then a butterfly fluttered above my eyesight and landed on the tip of my nose. As the stars continued to rain down upon me and through me, as my hands touched the moon the butterfly attached itself to my shoulder. I felt its vibrations throughout my body. I felt real and alive and up ahead that white grayish veil appeared vibrating upon me. The butterfly immediately flew straight through it and pounded its wings until it disappeared. And the butterfly landed once again and as I returned home I had the most peaceful sleep I have ever had. As I awoke the veil still hung above me as the butterfly was asleep upon my nose. The butterfly sent its message through my eyes. Follow me it said. But I have school. Break free it said and fly. And once again even in the morning I felt free and I forgot about the veil that wrapped itself around me like a shroud. I followed the butterfly through the house. My mother didn’t even look up from her paper and her coffee and the cigarette dangling from her mouth as I exited the house following a butterfly. I could only play in my mind the heights I was about to ascend. I was confused to see the butterfly flapping its wings directly over the well. The well where I became something I didn’t know I was. It began flying down that well, and as I leaned over the edge of it I saw the butterfly going further and further down and I saw a faint grayish light at the bottom but I still couldn’t go any further. I didn’t want to know what lie at the bottom of that well. I didn’t want to remember what I left there. As I climbed down my entire body tightened. I felt like that confused child once again. That feeling I have been hiding from. That child that no longer existed here. Each rung of the ladder I descended, another portal I entered. Travelling deeply into what I use to be. I could only hear the wings, as if they were barely moving, but communicating to me, keep on going. As my feet touched that water, the water that gave me life so long ago, the butterfly landed atop my head. I reached out for the light that I for so long have tried to touch, tried to become. It wasn’t light at all but that grayish white cloud. Call me Shadowgrey it communicated. And no, it wasn’t light but I tried to touch it anyway and as soon as my finger began to pierce what was there it disappeared, seemingly into the butterfly or me. As I looked down upon the water, deep into the eye of what was the reflection of me, I could only see a shadow screaming for light, overcome by the darkness of its mind. The wind vibrating from the butterflies wings above me pushed me further into that water that was now covering my back and blinding my sight. I reach for the butterfly but it is gone. Freedom gained or freedom gone? A question best left unanswered…